Creating a meaningful family home with Eminé Kali Rushton, creator of Mother Nourish.
#03 INSIDER interview exploring home as a place of nurture, creativity and an anchor to our surroundings as the seasons turn.
I’m Lyndsay, mother, creative and storyteller with a background in interiors PR. Story & Thread. is a weekly letter exploring the intersection of creativity, mothering and the living world, with a home and a garden at the heart...
Please feel free to share parts of this newsletter that connect with you — here on Substack, on social media or I would love you to send it on to someone special to you.
Hi everyone
The clear golden autumn days have given way to drenching rains here in North London and although my body has enjoyed the gentle warmth of October so far, my mind is longing to draw inwards which feels more instinctive in the darker, dank days.
At the same time, my thoughts this last week have been consumed with darkness and unimaginable horrors that feel both far and (too) close. I can sense heartbreak, fear and despair seeping into my everyday, and in the days of those around me — perhaps there is even more reason to seek out the glimmers and keep showing up fully in all of the small, meaningful ways we can…
(I am aware that this post is may be truncated on email so I would recommend clicking through to read fully or downloading the Substack app for the best reading experience).
Today is the third instalment of my new INSIDER series of interviews, a deep dive into our homes as the place that reflects the way we live and nurture; that express us creatively and that also anchor us to our surroundings by paying attention to the seasons. You can read the first two interviews here.
Meet , writer, editor, holistic facialist & naturopath. Eminé spent nine years at Psychologies magazine as Health + Wellness Director, before moving to mindfulness title, oh mag, as Editor. Eminé has spent 20 years learning ways to look after ourselves, and now shares all she has learned, via her new publication and community, providing resources and nourishment for mothers, More Than the Crumbs.
I loved speaking to Eminé about the dance of her different interests and roles; the epiphany that led her to focus on nourishing mothers and her deep embodiment of seasonal living — all from her 250-year-old cottage surrounded by medicinal herbs, pumpkins and flowers…
Describe who you are and what you do.
I am a writer, a word-player, a creator, a nature-lover. I’ve written several books on wellbeing, including Sattva: the Ayurvedic way to live well, Natural Wellness Everyday and most recently Holistic Habits: build your best life one small change at a time.
I am also studying Herbal Medicine at The School of Natural Medicine UK. Above and beyond all else, I am a mama of daughters and someone who dreams of being left alone with their books, herbs and flowers, for days at a time.
What led you on your path?
I studied English Literature at Durham University, and always knew I would need to find ways to get my words down onto paper and, possibly, out into the world. I have always scribbled and played, always gobbled books and wanted to learn more about so many different things: holistic health, history, the universe, mythology and the old pre-patriarchal religions and societies, the list goes on…
Where is home for you?
The Garden of England, otherwise known as Kent.
What led to you to move to the countryside?
Outside space. Birdsong. Being able to see the stars. Having green all around. Amazing neighbours along the terrace we inhabit – a real feeling of community, which I’d never had, growing up in big cities. A wee garden to grow everything we could possibly squeeze into it. A small local school for our girls — although one of them is now out of the system, and loving her home-school life. Being able to walk a lot more and drive a lot less, so many things…
How has a slower and quieter pace affected your life and work?
When I lived and worked in London, the pace was all I knew. Commuting, rushing, getting frustrated if the person on the street ahead of me was rambling slowly, and I needed to be somewhere. I do laugh when I think back on those days. Now, I’m the rambling one…!
I rarely see people rush around in the village, people seem to have a bit more time, to talk, smile, catch up…and that has made such a difference to our sense of wellbeing.
I also relish having a garden to go and sit outside in, to take my work, and create a working life that can move with me, and go where I need to go.
I feel far more peaceful and easeful in myself since I left the city.
Describe your home and garden.
A 250-year-old terraced cottage, one in a row of six. Ours is the quirky one, with pumpkins growing in our front garden, along with a dozen different herbs, while our neighbours have their lawns and flowers (also beautiful).
Inside, we’ve just been repainted the downstairs, a lovely light aquamarine, which feels like a breath of fresh air. It is, however, full of houseplants, which are all part of the family (the huge Monstera in our bathroom is hilarious — now encroaching on us as we sit on the loo!). And yes, it needs ‘work’, but mostly, it’s homely and welcoming.
In the back garden, Mr R’s pride and joy, we have another wild-ish space, where the butterflies play, bees dance and birds celebrate. Loads of herbs, fruit trees, raspberries, wild strawberries, beans, greens, and lots of gorgeous helpful flowers, from calendula to rose. A very happy place.
Why is cyclical and seasonal living important to you?
It underlines everything I believe to be true about holistic wellbeing. We change, moment by moment. We adapt and respond and adjust. We are not linear beings, made to go from A to Z without erring off the path.
I love learning more and more about my own body, my cycles, which is why I enrolled on Uma Dinsmore-Tuli’s Shakti Well Woman Yoga Therapy teacher training (graduating in January 2024), and am forever deepening my love for and interest in Ayurveda.
I’m fascinated by how I am affected by light, sun, sky, moon, air… how, when I support her, my body does just what it needs to do in just the right way — cleansing in spring, energising in summer, shedding extraneous layers in autumn…
We are nature, and it’s never more evident than when we adopt seasonal living.
Why did you decided to start your Substack publication, (More Than) the Crumbs?
I started my new Substack because, though I’ve created through so many different types of media — I’ve never really written about my particular experience as a working mother.
I spent a long weekend with a friend at Heart of the Rose festival in Sussex and after a beautiful evening of music, inspirational workshops, womb work and cacao, I returned to my tent, deeply tired, but unable to sleep.
The words ‘Nourish the Mother’ kept circling round and round in my mind. Over and over. And there was a feeling from the tips of my toes to roots of my hair, that this was it. Everything. Impossible to ignore.
I didn’t know what it would become. I just knew that — 13 years after I’d become a mother (some significance there, too, I feel, with 13 moons), I had to begin moving from ‘good intentions’ of how I’d look after myself and actually actively do the work.
I saw, very clearly, that even though I am generally a content being and love my kids more than anything in the world, I have not been nourishing myself properly. Any mum will know that our instinct is always to feed and care for and see to our kids before we meet our own needs. I imagined a future where my girls would live out my patterns. Where they’d have their own kids, would be working hard to support their families, and also trying to be the rock, the anchor, the safe harbour. Trying to hold everyone and everything, wondering why they feel depleted! It was a real wallop to my soul that night. Hearing the voice of something greater, but also intrinsic, to me.
If we don’t feed the mother, nobody gets fed — it really is that simple!
How do you carve out time for creative work around mothering, and homeschooling?
My routines and rhythms have changed so much since the girls got that bit older. I used to have much more quiet time in the evening as the kids had earlier bedtimes, but now they are much later. I’m someone who likes to be tucked up myself, by 10pm, so you can see how things feel stretched, particularly at night, which isn’t ideal, as when I’m tired, I’m also far more likely to snap, be impatient and lose my temper.
Since starting (More Than) the Crumbs and getting really intentional about the actions I will take to feed and nourish myself, energetically as well as everything else, I’ve been working on my Resource Map (something we do within the 12 week journey that unfolds within my Substack, and available to all subscribers for just £5/month, or £50/year).
This has really shown me where my ‘incomings’ and ‘outgoings’ are, and also highlighted points during my week when I am swept up in the habitual ‘stress’ — so actively choosing to get into my own space and let my kids (who are not little anymore!) self-direct for a while, while I make time to write, read or jot down the ideas I’ve been carrying in my mind for the last few hours.
Prioritising my creative processes, even in the midst of the messy multitudes of mum life, for short bursts of time, has shown me that I matter, and shown my girls that I am not just there to be their mum (also important I feel!).
I’ve also carved out two slices of uninterrupted writing time — for my Wednesday and Sunday Substack letters — which, if the weather’s fine, happen offline, so there’s no distraction from anything else going on.
I simply pour my heart, mind and soul out onto the blank page — guided by those scribbles I’ve added to my notebook during the week, in those breathing spaces in each day, until I am replete.
And every time I save a letter and schedule it to go out, I can feel my heart expanding a little more. And my rhythms and routines rooting down, providing a flexible backbone to the day’s ever-changing fabric.
What is your favourite part of your home?
Mmmm, that’s tricky. I love my youngest daughter’s room as it’s up in the loft and the views go across the Weald of Kent. So beautiful. The light is so cup-filling up there too. And it’s quiet!
I also love the picture window in our front room, as it’s all tree and sky and flower, uninterruptedly, and light pours in every afternoon, so it’s the loveliest place to sit with a book and feel the sun on my skin.
How do you bring meaning to your home?
I’ve tried minimal but never quite get there because I love to have precious memories and keepsakes and creations in view — pictures, paintings, ceramics my kids have made, crystals gifted to me by my sisters and friends, flowers, photographs.
We have a beautiful large rattan tray in the centre of our kitchen table, and it’s dotted with things we love. It changes with the seasons, too. Pine cones, sea shells, dried leaves & flowers, alongside our candles and Kali the goddess (because my maiden name is Kali, so I’ve always felt that affinity with her fierce grace).
Where do you feel most creative at home?
It changes with the seasons. Right now, outside in the garden is where I’m writing best. I love the light all around while my mind empties its thoughts onto a page. Clarifying.
I had a dedicated work space, a spare bedroom really, but as my girls got older, it became clear that they each needed a space of their own. So, my work room became my eldest daughter’s room, which she adores, and my youngest has the loft to herself, which is also filled with a lot of my books and work paraphernalia for now, until I can work out how to create a functional nook in our bedroom!
In winter, I love curling up in bed to write. The light is lovely up here too, and I’m right by the window, looking out at trees and sky, and the girls are also (mostly) respectful of the fact that when my door is closed, something is brewing and I’m probably writing or studying or in the middle of a full moon training session with my yoga therapy teacher, Uma!
How have you created your home for family life?
Home is an unstuffy, unfussy place. A lot of our furniture is a bit worse for wear, some of it almost threadbare and we’re not at all precious about things being spilled or marked or stained. It has and will continue to happen! But we also want things to feel light and clean and uncluttered, so we keep surfaces clear, put things away, have a quick tidy each evening. We don’t leave dishes in the sink or piles of stuff around the home, because it really stresses my eldest and Mr R out as they’re both autistic, clutter and things out of place make them feel on edge.
The really practical and simple things have helped the most — with our eldest now home-schooled, I started with a really good clear-out and reorganised and colour coded our book shelves, so she can easily find fiction, non-fiction, poetry, history etc. And because of how her visual brain works, she also loves that it’s all in rainbow order now! We’ve got a three-tier caddy on wheels, where any stationery she may ever need is neatly organised and labelled, too, and she’s got a craft chest in her room, with labelled drawers, all with their own dividers and containers inside, so she can easily access what she needs at any time. That’s helped her a lot as she loves a place for things, and loves lists and labels, bless her.
It’s a blend of a home where you can lounge and laze and feel really comfortable, but also feel that things aren’t chaotic. That balance is personal to each family, and ours has been learned through over a decade of either being too cluttered and chaotic, or far too ordered and overly tidy!
Is your home complete or do you have further aspirations for your space?
Honestly, we’ve never really had the luxury of envisaging and creating a ‘dream’ home, because we’ve always lived on varying budgets due to my mainly freelance income. Other than a lick of paint and our own furniture, a lot of our home is exactly the same today as when we bought it, 11 years ago.
We tend to spend only on things that actually need to be fixed e.g. recently, mending our chimney and fixing a damp chimney breast, which isn’t very exciting, but brings such peace of mind — chipping away, slowly, at the work that actually needs to be done, first and foremost.
Painting the downstairs, which Mr R and I did ourselves over two days and nights, was unbelievably exhausting but the difference it made was immense. We’ll accrue some time, money and energy once more, and then I’d like to repaint our bedroom — a deep, rich, green on the walls, and finally put up the beautiful textured wallpaper I found in the John Lewis clearance basket for £5, and maybe, hopefully, also create a practical, functional nook for my work. I would like to find a lovely compact desk and comfy chair, ideally second-hand, and surround the space with the many bright and happy prints I’ve had stashed away for years — in the not too distant future… watch this space!
You can explore more of Eminé’s work via her publication (More Than) the Crumbs, her Instagram and her Mother Nourish website.
I’d love to hear if you have been inspired by Eminé’s intentions to create a meaningful family home, and how you feel in your own home…
What is your favourite spot to relax at home?
Where do you feel most inspired?
Thank you for reading and I really look forward to your thoughts, hope we can chat more in the comments.
Thank you so much for having me, Lyndsay 🤲🏽♥️💫
What a lovely interview! It honestly was so calming and peaceful, I enjoyed reading it 💛✨